Looking in the Mirror and Not Knowing Who You Are
You see yourself reflected back and it takes a second to recognize the face. The features are yours but the expression is someone else’s. The way you are holding yourself is different. The way you are looking at the world from behind those eyes is not the way you remember looking at it. When did that happen? When did you become someone you have to think about before you can recognize? There was a moment somewhere where you started being unfamiliar to yourself but you can’t quite pinpoint when it was. The person looking back has made different choices than the person you thought you were. They are quieter or louder or harder or softer in ways that don’t match the image you had of yourself. They move through the world differently, they react to things differently, and they want different things. It’s not like you woke up different. It’s more like you kept making small adjustments and one day you looked and realized you’d turned into someone new, someone who handles things the way t...