The Person in the Mirror Clocks Out Sometimes
The face is there, correct in every measurable way. Same geometry, eyes, and mouth arranged in the usual order, but the recognition that this face belongs to whoever is doing the looking has packed its things and left without notice, the way a word you have used a thousand times suddenly looks spelled wrong and refuses to look right again no matter how long you stare at it.
Living inside the body during these periods feels like correspondence with someone who takes days to reply. The instruction to move arrives, movement eventually happens, but somewhere between intention and action there is distance that shouldn't exist, a lag in a connection that used to be seamless. The body is cooperative. It does what it's told. It simply no longer feels like home to whoever is giving the instructions.
Other
people remain unconvinced anything is wrong. They direct conversation at the
face, receive appropriate responses from the voice and conclude a person is
present. They are not entirely wrong. Something is present, but whether that
something qualifies as a person is the question that has no comfortable answer
on these days. The lights are on, the door opens when knocked, the machine runs
smoothly and on schedule, and the operator has simply stepped away from the
controls and left everything running on memory alone.
Time
behaves strangely when this is happening. The day is simultaneously endless and
absent. Hours accumulate without weight. Events occur but they occur at the
body, not to the person. The body attended, participated, and responded.
Whether the person was there to receive any of it is genuinely unclear. A
recording can pass for presence if nobody is listening closely enough to notice
the difference.
The
return is as unexplained as the departure. The stranger in the mirror becomes
familiar again somewhere between one glance and the next. The distance between
intention and movement closes. The body stops feeling borrowed. Whether the
person came back or simply stopped noticing the absence is a distinction that
stops mattering once the disorientation lifts.
What
stays is the knowledge that it will happen again. The stranger will return to
the mirror, the body will run its automated routines while the person floats
somewhere unlocatable, and because it leaves no visible mark, because the face
cooperates and the voice performs and the machine keeps running, nobody will
know. The person experiencing it cannot explain it. Everyone else cannot see it,
and somehow the body keeps showing up anyway, carrying its absent passenger
through another day of being present without being there.
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