Unemployment and Self-worth

The hardest part about being unemployed is not always the money but it’s everything that comes with it. The awkward invitations you have to dodge, the polite lies you start telling, and the slow, silent weight of feeling like you are falling behind while the world just keeps moving.

You start calculating the cost of every outing like it is a math exam. Friends talk about brunch plans, and your brain goes straight to your bank balance. You hear someone say, “It’s just coffee,” and you wonder what it feels like when coffee does not mean sacrifice.

People assume you are free because you are not working. Free for errands, free for favors, and free for emotional labor. And it is not just the requests but it’s the way they ask, the way they phrase advice like judgments: “Have you tried X?” “So-and-so is doing Y, maybe you should try that.”

You nod, smile, excuse yourself with “I’m resting,” even when what you really mean is, “I am trying not to break.” Eventually, something clicks and you stop over-explaining, you stop showing up out of guilt, and you stop trying to prove that you are doing enough. Some people fall off when you start choosing yourself. That stings but it shows you who respects your boundaries and who only liked you better when you had none.

The pressure might not leave but it gets quieter. You learn how to stand taller, even with empty pockets. You start to understand that your worth has nothing to do with how busy you are or how much you can give. If someone cannot handle your not yet, they do not deserve your made it.

When Money Starts Showing Up, So Do People

There is a moment when things finally start to shift. Maybe you land a job. Maybe your side hustle starts paying off. Maybe you are not rich, but you stop flinching when you swipe.

Then come the texts. The check-ins. The people who were “just thinking of you.” Some are real. Some are watching.

It is a strange phase. You wonder, “Would they have texted if I was still scraping by? Would they still respect me if this all vanished tomorrow” You start reading between the lines, start measuring energy and watching intentions because money does not fix trust issues. It just exposes them. Some expect you to spend to prove something, while others test how far you will go now that you are okay. But money does not fix everything. It just makes the cracks louder.

You owe no one access to the version of you they ignored when you had nothing to offer. Keep the people who saw your light when it was flickering close. That is your circle. You do not need to entertain anyone who only claps for the version of you that is shining. Watch who showed up when all you had was grit. That is the real flex.

Carrying Confidence Even When You Feel Invisible

When you have been broke for long enough, you start questioning everything, like your value, place, and your future. There is a loneliness that hits different when you feel like life is happening to you, not with you. You start wondering if anyone sees you beyond your potential.

That is where the real shift happens, not when you get hired, not when your bills are paid, but when you decide: “I am not shrinking just because life got tight.” You speak up even when your voice shakes, you walk in like you belong, and you stop apologizing for being in the room. That energy changes things. People notice, but more importantly, you notice.

Confidence is not pretending everything is fine but it is knowing you are still valuable even when things are not.

To Anyone Doing What They Have to Do Right Now

If you are working a manual job with a degree, or doing what it takes to survive while chasing something more, this part is for you.

Forget the whispers about what you should be doing by now. You are working, you are building, and that is enough. There is no shame in showing up even when it is not glamorous. Some of the strongest people I know are in overalls, not suits. What matters is not where you are but that you are still in the fight.

Success is not a straight line. It is a series of pivots, setbacks, and comebacks. You are allowed to take the long way around. Keep showing up, keep sharpening your skills, and keep building. One day, you will look back and realize: this chapter was not wasted. It was building muscle mentally, emotionally, and financially, and when your moment comes, you will carry it differently because you earned it.

Final Word: This Phase Does Not Define You

Being broke taught me more about people than money ever could. It showed me who clapped when I had nothing to give. It forced me to grow thick skin and soft eyes. It revealed how much pressure I had internalized and how much freedom comes from letting it go. Some nights I cried, some days I felt forgotten, but I was never alone. God walked me through the quiet parts, the ones no one saw, and the ones that made me.

You might be in a season where everything feels heavy and unfair, where it feels like no one sees how hard you are trying, but you are not broken, you are figuring things out piece by piece. The world may not clap for you right now, but keep moving, keep showing up, and keep trusting that this part of your story matters. Even if no one sees it, you will.

 

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