Finding Freedom from the Habit of Measuring Up
A habit of incessantly comparing is a sure way of losing
connection with your real self. It is enough to take a quick look around, and
you will find people who are going faster than you, doing more and showing it
more, living seemingly more fulfilling lives, and you will be left to puzzle
over what went wrong with your path.
It makes you think that
everyone else must know something that they don't talk about, and that is why
you are left at the rear. Comparisons weigh you down like an invisible cloud
that is always around you and makes it impossible to experience joy though you
have made progress.
Burnout, not jealousy, is often what drives comparison. The years you have spent trying to prove your significance, that
your contributions matter, and that your direction is right, are the cause of
this exhaustion. It is the weariness that results from being ignored or left
behind, and the fact that the world seems to love quantity more than quality,
which makes things worse. You concentrate on someone else's carefully
constructed moment and forget that your own story is going on right there
firmly, and in its own time.
Life without the burden
of comparison is not living in a fantasy world where you cannot see other
people's lives. It is about getting back your focus. It is understanding that
one person's success is not your timetable, and one person's fame does not dull
your shine. The brain often forgets that there is enough space for everyone and
that following your own beat does not make you less valuable.
Comparison
has always been about numbers and milestones, things that can be shown,
counted, or used to prove your value. However, life is made of moments that
cannot be measured, and those are the ones that have the greatest value. Giving
up comparison requires a brave heart. Once you let go of the race towards
someone else's success, your power gets back to you. You really start to see
the things that are your true calling, the work that makes you feel purposeful,
and the relationships that make you feel authentic.
It is
possible that you still feel the need to check yourself continually, and that
is only human, but instead of judging yourself, you can treat yourself with
compassion. Remember, you do not need to fight to win your current position.
The track you follow is not slower, and it is certainly not worse.
The necessity to make
comparisons becomes loud when you have doubts, but doubt is an indication that
something new is coming. The closer you stick to your own path, the clearer it
will be for you how unique your experience is. You will start seeing that the
act of comparing becomes less as the level of self-confidence grows, and
self-confidence grows when you stop racing to another's pace.
Never
struggle against the position where life has put you. Life is taking place
right here, in this very moment, not somewhere else. Keep growing in your own
way. It's still possible for you to see someone else's success and realize that
you are not behind. You are able to rejoice in the success of others without
taking their timing. You can recognize their development and, at the same time,
keep a strong belief in yours. Both things can be true at the same time and
one does not subtract from the other.
You don't need to live
under the burden of measuring yourself against what others have. Living a life
that is true to you rather than one that looks good is definitely your choice.
There is nothing wrong with choosing substance over show, progress over
perfection, and meaning over getting approval. Every time you make that choice,
comparison loses a little of its power.
You are simply going
forward by finding, growing, creating, and arriving in your own way and at your
own time. There will always be somebody ahead and somebody behind in the
journey of life. However, your task is not to speed up; it is to be fully
present where you are right now.
It's
worth reflecting on yourself rather than constantly checking on other people.
Look at your progress, your little wins, the times you've silently created your
own story of life. When you find out the richness of your own tale, the
instances that no feed or highlight reel can ever get, the comparisons don't
have the same effect. Peace was never missing. You were looking for it in other
places, and therefore, seeking confirmations that could never really give you
the rest you were meant to have.
So now, after
disengaging from the world's mirrors and listening to your own beat, you have
discovered it. You can be here with yourself, your own growth, and you can have
faith that what is yours will keep on growing in its own time.
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