When Healing Feels Like Regression

 Leaving was only the beginning. This is what happens when the dust settles, and you're left with yourself.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days feel like setbacks, but they’re echoes of growth. This story explores what it means to deepen, not backslide.

Some days, it feels like you’re moving backward instead of forward. You thought you were done with that thing that used to trip you up, only to find yourself tangled in it again. It’s easy to feel like you’re broken, like the progress you made is slipping through your fingers, but what if that setback isn’t really a setback? What if it’s an echo, a reminder that healing isn’t linear and the dips are part of the process?

I remember one afternoon, just a few weeks ago, when everything seemed to spiral. I had this mental list of things I thought I was managing well, boundaries I’d been holding, a sense of control that felt new, but that day, it all collapsed. The emails piled up and a single conversation landed wrong and hit too hard. By evening, the whole day was a blur. I felt like I was back at square one, questioning everything. I thought I was past this. I thought I’d done the work.

What I’m learning now is that these moments, these so-called regressions, aren’t proof that you’ve failed, they’re just part of the deeper process. Healing isn’t about getting it perfect every time. It’s you showing up a little more consistently over time. That doesn’t mean you won’t have days that feel like you’re slipping. It’s not a straight line. It’s a rhythm, and when the rhythm falters, that’s when grace matters most.

You know those days when you feel like you’re sinking instead of swimming? When it’s hard to see how far you’ve actually come? I’ve had weeks where I couldn’t stop replaying my mistakes, everything that didn’t work out, wondering why I wasn’t further along, and why I still felt stuck.

It’s a tough place to be. You want to believe healing means progress every single day, but it doesn’t. It’s uneven, jagged, and messy. Some days you’re moving forward, some days you feel stuck in the same old place, wondering if you’re doing something wrong, but the real work isn’t just in the progress, it’s in how you hold yourself when things feel like they’re falling apart. Can you stay with yourself in the dip?

I still have moments where I think, “I should be better by now,” where I catch myself saying, “This shouldn’t be this hard,” but when I stop and let myself feel those things, without turning them into proof that I’m broken, that’s when something starts to change. I’m learning to sit with the discomfort instead of running from it, to stop trying to turn every dip into a lesson or a breakthrough. Sometimes, it just is, and again that’s okay.

It’s hard not to compare. Social media doesn’t help. You scroll and see polished snapshots of someone else’s healing, their progress, their breakthroughs, and it makes you feel like you’re behind, but healing doesn’t look the same for everyone. Your timeline is your own. You’re allowed to have tough days. Just because someone else seems to have it all together doesn’t mean they do.

So, yeah, sometimes healing feels like regression, though it’s not. It’s part of the process. It’s not about getting everything right, but it’s getting back up when it gets hard. It’s holding on when it feels like you’re slipping. It’s knowing that feeling lost doesn’t mean you are. I’ve started giving myself permission to circle back, to not have all the answers. It’s like walking a winding road, you might loop around, but you’re still moving, just not always in straight lines.

If you’re having a day, a week, or a month where it all feels like regression, you’re not alone, you’re not failing, and you’re not broken. You’re deepening. We don’t talk about that enough, but it matters. The dips aren’t detours, but part of the way through. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you’re still moving forward.

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